I don't know if it's just me or because I have ME; but I never feel like I have enough time. It's like I'm in a constant race to get all I want done . It's exhausting, especially when I realised that the race is just with myself. Do you ever feel like that? I realised that there's no one else putting this pressure on me. Just me. Seems kind of stupid when I made the connection; but it was a bit of a shock. I've been telling myself for a long time that I don't have enough time to do everything and I was both right and wrong about that. I can't do EVERYTHING but then nobody can, whether they are ill, well or somewhere in between. Also time is not my problem - time I have a lot of, in fact time is the one thing I have an abundance of. Energy is my issue. I don't have the energy to do all I want, I have to pace, rest and sleep, which seems like wasted time; but in truth it's what I need to do what I do and keep functioning. It means I can run Live in Love in Laugh in and organise all thefun parties and events. It means that I have the energy to put together our Ocean Adventure in August, (more details to come; but a sneak peak - we are going to be swimming with dolphins, going in a helicopter and enjoying a Hawaiian Luau). I'm just greedy and want to do even more! I'm not sure I could ever have enough energy and if I did then I'd be complaining about not having enough time. Yes I know, some people are never happy! Do you know the feeling? Today I realised that I have to slow down and accept that everything takes its time, that the pressure I put myself under to get where I want to go is a) making me tireder and therefore slowing me down and b) not allowing me to enjoy the process. I have plenty of time to achieve my dreams and to get the word out about Live in Love in Laugh in and it's high time I started being kinder to myself. How about you? Are there areas in your life where you could be kinder, gentler with yourself? Are there things you could relax more about and trust that they will get done; you don't have to be your own task master? Leave me a comment and let me know how you're going to make the most of your abundance of time. Image courtesy of dan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net Claire Wade is the winner of the Good Housekeeping Novel Competition and author of The Choice. She was bed bound for six years with severe ME, trapped in a body that wouldn't do what she wanted. She now writes about people who want to break free from the constraints of their lives, a subject she's deeply familiar with.
jan
24/5/2013 12:16:49 pm
Yes, I understand exactly!, Claire - Completely hear you on this! For me it is an energy thing too. If I don't take it easy and give myself space and time to recuperate and recharge then I don't have energy to do what I want to do. Then it really feels like I don't have time! Wishing you tons of energy! Isn't it almost stunning when you realize that the only person putting pressure on yourself is YOU?! I was also floored when I had this big a-ha! It's the great thing about being an entrepreneur, so why not loosen up and be kind to ourselves, right? It's the times when I feel most pressured, annoyed or judgmental about myself that I now know I have to be compassionate and loving, instead of beating myself up. I usually stop, take a deep breathe and choose one or two tasks reminding myself that I do have time for everything, and it's all perfect. Thank you for this! 25/5/2013 10:52:04 am
Hi Claire! Wow! I think this has to be a commonality within our society...especially for women! I know I feel this way so often and i get to a space of literal overwhelm. When it becomes overwhelm I know I need to step back and take a breath because that space really upsets my energy! :) Love to you Claire! Wishing you an abundance of energy to do all your heart desires!! xo
oh, energy! Such a fickle companion! It used to feel like rest and recovery time were such a waste, but I have proven to myself again and again how vital and necessary they are to me - and to us all. In the past year or so I've made a real point to not take on too much, to say no more often, to really ensure that I don't expend energy that I can't afford to. 27/5/2013 09:32:03 am
I have felt this many, many times, especially when I first had my daughter who's now 5. But now I take "time" in stride and I just do what I do and "try" not to beat myself up about it. It's a process for sure but I am getting better at it. 28/5/2013 07:56:47 am
Claire, 28/5/2013 08:07:20 am
I don't think feeling that way is about having ME at all. Everyone I know has struggled with this at one time or another. I did too until I truly GOT- You never get it done. This post is right on time for me! I've been burning the candles at both ends recently, so impatient to make some serious progress in my work connecting moms to fun fitness -- and yet so short on time because I'm a mom too. I do need to be gentler, but how will it all get done?
Hazel
19/6/2013 04:49:29 pm
Brilliant topic Claire. I also have M.E and my problem is I don't seem to have enough useable time. A lot of the time my days are taken up with the basics such getting fed and watered and there never seems to be enough time for the "fun" stuff, for me this is time for crafting. Over the years I have learnt to move jobs on but this can get frustrating when the list gets bigger and bigger and all you do is move that list on from one day to another!! Comments are closed.
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Claire WadeI'm an author, disability activist, winner of the Good Housekeeping First Novel Competition and The EABA for Fiction 2020 and founder of Authors with Disabilities and Chronic Illnesses (ADCI). The Choice is available from:DETAILS:
Title: The Choice Publisher: Orion ISBN: 1409187748 You can keep up to date with all my latest blog posts by signing up to my email newsletter.
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