I don't know if it's just me or because I have ME; but I never feel like I have enough time. It's like I'm in a constant race to get all I want done .
It's exhausting, especially when I realised that the race is just with myself.
Do you ever feel like that? I realised that there's no one else putting this pressure on me. Just me.
Seems kind of stupid when I made the connection; but it was a bit of a shock.
I've been telling myself for a long time that I don't have enough time to do everything and I was both right and wrong about that. I can't do EVERYTHING but then nobody can, whether they are ill, well or somewhere in between.
Also time is not my problem - time I have a lot of, in fact time is the one thing I have an abundance of.
Energy is my issue. I don't have the energy to do all I want, I have to pace, rest and sleep, which seems like wasted time; but in truth it's what I need to do what I do and keep functioning. It means I can run Live in Love in Laugh in and organise all thefun parties and events. It means that I have the energy to put together our Ocean Adventure in August, (more details to come; but a sneak peak - we are going to be swimming with dolphins, going in a helicopter and enjoying a Hawaiian Luau).
I'm just greedy and want to do even more! I'm not sure I could ever have enough energy and if I did then I'd be complaining about not having enough time. Yes I know, some people are never happy! Do you know the feeling?
Today I realised that I have to slow down and accept that everything takes its time, that the pressure I put myself under to get where I want to go is a) making me tireder and therefore slowing me down and b) not allowing me to enjoy the process. I have plenty of time to achieve my dreams and to get the word out about Live in Love in Laugh in and it's high time I started being kinder to myself.
How about you? Are there areas in your life where you could be kinder, gentler with yourself? Are there things you could relax more about and trust that they will get done; you don't have to be your own task master?
Leave me a comment and let me know how you're going to make the most of your abundance of time.
Image courtesy of dan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Claire Wade is the winner of the Good Housekeeping Novel Competition and author of The Choice. She was bed bound for six years with severe ME, trapped in a body that wouldn't do what she wanted. She now writes about people who want to break free from the constraints of their lives, a subject she's deeply familiar with.
I'm an author, disability activist, winner of the Good Housekeeping First Novel Competition and The EABA for Fiction 2020 and founder of Authors with Disabilities and Chronic Illnesses (ADCI).
The Choice is available from:
Title: The Choice
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