Claire Wade
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I am who I am, because I'm disabled and I won't disappear because you want me to.

1/5/2013

 
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I have always worked hard to distance myself from my illness, my disability. I've struggled to say to the world that no, my disabilities do not define me, they do not make me who I am; but honestly that's not true.

I am who I am because of my disability. It has shaped me, formed me, moulded my body, left marks on my skin and it has had an even greater impact on the person inside.

There's a strong stigma that being disabled makes you less - broken and unworthy. It's something shameful and embarrassing. That it should be hidden away from society for fear of upsetting people, making them feel uncomfortable. I shrink when I'm in my wheelchair, I slouch down, avoiding eye contact and heaven forbid I see someone I know!

I hate that I do that. I hate that I allow it to make me feel small.

I've felt that I have to make up for my illness, that I have to prove myself in other areas, that I am worthy and capable, that I deserve my place not just in society; but on the planet. That because I'm ill I have to do something great and good, so that people can see there's more to me than the chair, the illness, the space I take up.

Over the past year I've noticed a shift inside myself, as the general view of disabled people in the media and public consciousness gets worse, as we are portrayed as liars, scroungers and cheats, drains on society, I have felt myself pushing back against this idea, this notion that we are less.

It's made me realise the strength and sheer awesomeness of disabled people. Not just the ones who set up charities, run world changing organisation or are pioneering disability rights; but all the people who manage to get through each day and even ENJOY each day as best we can, who refuse to give up and disappear, the way it feels many would like us to.

I admire the ones who are living, the best way they can, no matter how tough things get, how marginalised society is making them or how easy it would be to fade away.

I'm proud to stand (or rather sit) with them, to number myself among those who have been dealt an awful hand in life; but who are who they are. We won't, and should never have to, apologise for who we are. We should hold our heads high because we go to hell and back every single day, we live through pain and torment that no one should have to know exists and we're still here.

For every person that doubts us, every person who implies we're lazy or lying, you make us stronger.

You push, we push back.

Your ignorance makes us more determined to hold on just a little bit harder.

We're facing the same challenges and discrimination that women and civil rights activists have faced in the past.

They had to fight, to struggle to be accepted, to achieve the same rights as everyone else; but they achieved it.

We will too.

Share this post if you believe that you have as much value in the world as anybody else.

Claire Wade is the winner of the Good Housekeeping Novel Competition and author of The Choice. She was bed bound for six years with severe ME, trapped in a body that wouldn't do what she wanted. She now writes about people who want to break free from the constraints of their lives, a subject she's deeply familiar with.
NTE link
1/5/2013 03:44:06 pm

Push back; good for you. I know it's hard, sometimes to remember (particularly when society is so harsh and set against the 'scroungers'), but this post was a great reminder. :)

Claire link
10/5/2013 12:41:19 pm

You're right, it can be so hard to remember. I think if we stick together it's much easier hen we're united.

Linda
1/5/2013 06:33:59 pm

Hi Claire...I was looking for information online about being homebound because I a few months ago met a neighbor of mine who has MS.
I am appalled about how much information there is NOT on the internet concerning this subject.
My friend is becoming more and more house bound and I am frightened for her.
She and others who struggle with disabilities are my Hero's!
They teach me so much about courage and perseverance.
my oldest son also has some physical disabilities that make everyday challenging...yet everyday he gets up and faces life with determination.
He has taught me how to stand up strong when life deals its hard blows.
I so agree with your article and commend and encourage you to continue talking about the difficulties that come with being disabled.
There are probably a lot of people waiting for someone to stick up for them.
I personally want to learn what I can do to help those who struggle.

Claire link
10/5/2013 01:45:41 pm

Hi Linda,

I'm so sorry to hear about your neighbour and the challenges your oldest son have faced. You're right, there is very little information available on the subject, which is why it's so important to me to keep raising the subject.

Your friend is lucky o have someone like you, who obviously cares so much.

Helen link
3/5/2013 07:00:45 am

Fantastic! Yesss! And well done for all that you do and all that you've done. People love to be negative & focus on what others can't do rather than what they can don't they? I've noticed that a lot in my own life, and it's very sad.
It's only ever a reflection of their own limitations and small-mindedness, which is still far too prevalent, even in this day & age.
I've encounter this kind of attitude from my peers because I've chosen to quit the 9-5 and make something of my life. One ex colleague was scathing in her comments about my ambitions of wanting to run a business and maybe become a millionaire some day. If it's not the "norm" as they know it, then you're fair game to be mocked, belittled and excluded!
And don't get me started on some of the nonsense I have to deal with about being a psychic medium...
Keep going - head held high! You inspire me Claire!

Tracey Ceurvels link
3/5/2013 09:10:32 am

I am sorry you have to deal with this stigma, but bravo to you for not feeling small and less than and instead rising above the ignorance. What an inspiration you are!

Claire link
10/5/2013 01:46:42 pm

Thanks Tracey, I really appreciate your support!

Leah Shapiro link
3/5/2013 09:29:57 am

A big "Hell Yhea" and High Fives to you Claire. You are such an inspiration to everyone. I love how you own who you are and take a stand for what you believe in. I agree with you that it's time that disabled people be treated with the respect that they deserve.

You have come so far over the past few years. I remember when you hesitated to talk about your disability, and now look at you go. You're flying your freak flag high and proud.

I'm so proud to be part of your support structure and I'm super proud of YOU!!

eyenie link
3/5/2013 10:08:27 am

I applaud you for taking a stand, and being proud of who you are and what you have lived (are living!) though! We all have things that make us feel like we stand out, or that others see as "different" or "unacceptable"...it's all because of their fear...it has nothing to do with us. I want to picture you rolling down the street in your chair, head held high, looking fly, smiling, heart open and OWNIN' it!!! YAY! That made me giddy! Thanks for the inspiration!

Christie Halmick link
3/5/2013 11:57:33 am

Claire - what I feel in your post is the shift that you are making internally. Very powerful! This shift radiates through all that you're doing to change the world. Onward!

Belinda Rose link
3/5/2013 05:56:33 pm

Beautiful Claire! Just beautiful! I understand how hurtful it can be when others look at you and define you by physical appearances. Your 'Inner Light' is radiating brightly Claire! Keep on shining for you are a Beloved Being! xo

Julie Geigle link
4/5/2013 05:21:04 pm

Amen Sister!! I commend you for your courage and strength and love your fortitude. When you heal, I heal, because after all we are all ONE. Rock on Miss Claire!!!

Teresa Deak link
4/5/2013 11:00:17 pm

Claire, I just have to say: You rock! I'm really surprised and saddened to hear of the shift you mentioned - I have not seen this here in Canada, though it might not be hitting my radar. Push back and let us know how we can help! Hugs and butterflies, ~Teresa~

Inga Deksne link
5/5/2013 03:35:52 am

I admire you, Claire, for your strength. I agree with you that people with disabilities should never have to apologise for who they are. There are many people who despite being physically healthy don't know how to enjoy life and they attack people who have learned to make the most out of life not matter what.


Comments are closed.
    Claire Wade

    Claire Wade

    I'm an author, disability activist, winner of the Good Housekeeping First Novel Competition and The EABA for Fiction 2020 and co-founder of Authors with Disabilities and Chronic Illnesses (ADCI).


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