This morning I went on Radio Norfolk to do an interview about Holidays From Home (http://holidaysfromhome.co.uk) and Live in Love in Laugh in. I've done lots of radio interviews before but I was still really nervous! It always frustrates me that I let it get to me so much, because I know that I am perfectly capable - it is just speaking after all, I do that every day, in fact I'd say the problem would be getting me not to speak!
It's also talking about the things I love to do and that I know all about, more than anyone else knows, so why do I get worried I won't know the answers?! It feels do stupid; but it's hard to break out of the negative thoughts.
Last night I was sleeping fitfully and I woke up and got really cross with myself for letting it get to me so much and I realised that I've been through so much worse than just being interviewed. Years of illness, being bed bound, six weeks in hospital, struggles with doctors, teachers and other non-believers have been part of my education, training, my school of life. Those are my qualifications, my battle scars, the testament to my experience.
I realised that I am qualified to speak about what I do, about what it's like to be house and bed bound. I've been there, done that and still waiting for my t-shirt. I may not be able to speak about the scientific medical issues; but the day to day struggles are my area of experience, my expertise. For the first time I felt qualified and appreciated the value of all I've been through. I hope that by going through it I can save others going through it too or can at least help to make it easier for them.
That's why it's so important for me to keep putting myself out there, to go through the roller coaster of emotions that are linked to publicity and marketing, because it's the only way I can ensure that my message and what I do reaches those that really need it. Helping people is what really matters and I know that the interview today has got me one step closer to that.
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I've finished my first novel while enjoying copious amounts of chocolate and cake.